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You have decided you want to have a baby. You dream of how it will feel to have a baby in the house, picture what you will do for it's room, but it is still a dream. What you hope for.
Then the day arrives! You find out that you are pregnant. Hooray! The dream has become a reality. You are going to the doctor, making plans. There is a little life growing inside you - your child.
Now you have the reality of your dream - a baby. And more dreams! Will it be a boy or a girl? You immediately start thinking of names. What will he/she look like?
We all know what is supposed to happen next. Having a healthy baby, of course. Yet, that doesn't always happen. Whether through miscarriage, stillbirth, newborn death, or SIDS some of us lose our babies. It is a shattered dream, and it is a shattered reality.
You have to deal with the loss of your hopes and dreams, and with the loss of your child. This is no easy task. Your child has died. That is the most devastating loss to any parent. You have also lost your dreams for that child.
How to deal with it all is the biggest question. You will need to go through the grief process. Feel what you need to feel. Most importantly, get a support system. That is, people you can talk to openly about what has happened to you (family, friends, support group).
Someday, the pain will ease. You will always love your baby, and you will never forget him or her. Just remember, you are not alone.
© 1998 Tammy Novak
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Forever Loved is sponsored this month by Scott and Kimberly Grimme In Loving Memory of Hannah Gail Grimme |